Lillian - 2010

Up thru August, this was a fairly typical year for me. September was a very busy month when my daughter, Liana, married James Pesterfield.

Then, in October my life literally fell apart. My family was told I had a 50-50 chance of surviving. Before surgery, I was given the opportunity to call any family members I wanted to, to basically say goodbye.

Following my 1992 surgery for colon cancer, I developed hernias on either side of my colostomy. I was told that surgery to repair the hernias was, because of the radiation, very dangerous and should only be attempted in case of life or death. I had put up with the hernias for at least 16 years, but on October 8th my colon became entangled in the largest hernia and ruptured. The pain left me no choice but to go to the emergency room. The details were slowly revealed to me during the days that followed my return to the world of the living.

During the first six or seven days, I had four operations. Five, if you count the insertion of a drain tube. I was not closed up until the final surgery and was kept in a coma for eight days. My 18 year old stoma/colostomy, located on left side of my naval, was removed along with about six additional inches of my large intestines. I now have a new stoma and ileostomy on my right side. I had an approx. 6” open wound that was left open to heal from the inside out. A vacuum pump took care of the fluids that drained from the opening for six weeks.

I spent 20 days in the University of Tennessee Medical Center. My whole body was very swollen from all the toxins. My hands did not work. Someone had to feed me after I was allowed food. My feet did not touch the floor to walk but twice toward the end of the 20 days. I was not allowed to attempt to walk until the last two days when, with help, I walked about 10 steps (on walker) from bed to room door.

On October 28th, I was moved to the Morning View Transitional Care Center in Maryville. I spent three weeks learning to walk again and building up over-all body strength. The opening in my abdomen was approx. 3” long when wound vacuum was removed the day before I came home on Nov. 19th. Liana has been very helpful to change the dressing every day since I got home. The place is only about the size of a dime today (Dec. 13th). I hope it will be healed or closed by the time I see the surgeon for follow-up on Dec. 16th.

I will be forever grateful to my precious sister, Pat, for staying with me almost three full weeks and my sweet brother, Mike, who stayed with me when Pat had to work. Special Thanks to Mary Singleton and Carol Coulter (high school friends) for staying with me at times, too. Pat made sure someone was with me around the clock during my three weeks in the hospital. A great big hug to my cousin, Sandra P’Pool, for taking me to the ER and being faithful to visit me two or three times a week and for all her special help.

I really don’t think I can come up with words to describe what I have been through during the last three months. It’s one of those nightmare tales you hear that happens to someone else. The helplessness was so frustrating and frightening. I couldn’t find my nose!! It took me four or five days to just be able to touch my nose with my index finger. It was a wonderful day when, a few days before I got out of UT, I was finally able to turn and lay on my side without help.

The first time one of the male CNAs came in to give me a bath was a real “surprise”. I never thought about a strange man giving me a bath!! I guarantee that, in my condition, it was NOT a thrill, but he was nice (very professional) and we got along fine.

By the time I got back home I had lost 40 lbs. So, now I have no clothes that fit. I’ve wanted to lose weight for a long time, but not like this!

Pat has told me some funny stories about silly things I did while taking all the drugs in the early days. I really wonder what she has not told me!!

Dec. 22^nd was my first day back at work. I worked five hours and was ready to head home for a nap! It was great to be back behind my desk and see everyone. It had been 75 days since I last worked!

My sincere advice to everyone is don’t take life for granted. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Cherish each day for the special gift it is.

Special blessings to you and your family in the New Year.

With much love,

Lillian

For the One Left Behind

It's like walking around in the fog or in a daze. At the end of the day, we wonder where the day went. Why didn't any of the things get done that needed to be done so badly. But, there's always tomorrow or next week.

It will take a while... I don't even like the phrase "it will get better"... more like we continue on in spite of the pain, the loss, the loneliness, the sleepless nights when we wonder thru the house looking for something to do, avoiding the things that must get done. Crying at unexpected moments over silly little things. Smiling thru the tears. Reliving the memories of years gone by... cherishing the good, the precious, the bad, and sometimes even the ugly.

It must be different for each one, but it's a road that has to be traveled to get to the new life we create, each at our own pace. Whether we like it or not, we do change, turn lose of what used to be and move on. At times being prodded and pushed by those who love us. It took me a little over a year to get around to cleaning out his closet, but I finally did it! When I was ready.

I wish for us all the peace that surpasses all understanding and the courage to keep movin' down this road we call LIFE.

Death of sister-in-law in Oregon

Kathy & Jack in 2003

My sister-in-law, Kathy (61 yr) got up feeling weak last Wednesday, Nov 11th. My brother, Jack, took her to the doctor/hospital in Portland, OR where she was admitted. Within hours her kidneys failed, she was placed on dialysis 24/7, then had to have a trach to breathe. She died about 4 a.m. on Nov 16th. Doctors "suspect" it might have been H1N1. (Test later proved to be negative for H1N1.)

They are located in Warren, OR about 30 miles from Portland. Jack lost his 36 yr old son, Ryan, to cancer in June. (See earlier posting) Now, four & one-half months later, his wife is gone!

Please remember the family as you pray... Jack (my brother) their dtr, Annie & husband, Joe, and their dtr, Josi (11 yr). Also, Cindy (dtr-in-law & Ryan's widow) and children Hayden (8 yr) & Kendall (4 yr).

Death of my nephew, Ryan Overstreet

December 2008

Wedding day, Feb. 1999

Ryan's battle with cancer ended sadly with his death on June 28, 2009. He was 36 years old. I will add the obit when I receive it later this week. Click on "Overstreet" label down on right to read more.

Death of my Aunt, Gladys Trentham Russell

March 2008 at funeral of her sister, Kate Stogner.

I scanned the obit, but it would not display here large enough to read. I have uploaded it to my Fotki website. Click here to view thumbnail. Click on the thumbnail to enlarge for reading. There is also an article about her death in the Daily Times today. It is here, also.

Gladys Trentham Russell died at 1:10 p.m. 7/16/09. She was 92 years old. Born Jan. 8, 1917.

Receiving friends Sunday, July 19, 2009 from 4 to 7:00 p.m. with brief service at 7:00 p.m. at Smith's Mortuary in Maryville, TN.

Burial on Monday, July 20, 2009 at 11:00 a.m. in Grandview Cemetery in Maryville, TN.

Gladys had been very weak last couple of months experiencing a lot of abdominal pain the last few weeks. She underwent colon surgery in August 2008 for removal of tumor that was cancerous. She chose not to receive any treatments.

When will it stop hurting?

I keep telling myself it will get better. It will stop hurting. But when?

I do pretty well most of the time. Work is my escape. A busy mind helps. His photo on my desk, a daily smile from him.

So many lonely moments. Many sleepless hours in the dark of night.

So many daily events I must remember to tell him about. Surely he knows already! So many things I need to ask him. He was a fountain of knowledge!

Where did you put... I can't find... what should I do... how will I ever...

When will the tears stop spilling over and trickling down... at such unexpected moments! About some of the silliest things! Never know when!

It will get better... BUT WHEN, I cry?

I need to cry... but, it will hurt so much! Not yet! Not now! Soon!

Will tears help wash away the pain and hurt, the lonely moments, days, weeks, months.... years?

He has been gone five months today. Maybe it is time... to CRY!

5/5/09

He is missed by so many....

Last Farewell

The Obituary

Earl, age 66, of Louisville, TN went to be with his Lord Friday, December 5, 2008 at home.

Earl - The Final Chapter

Earl went to be with his Lord at approx. 9:10 a.m. this morning.

I am so glad, for his sake, that this has happened so quickly. God still answers.

We had decided on cremation, which will be handled by Smith's Mortuary. The cremation will allow us to take a little time to make plans for a memorial service at Madison Avenue Baptist Church in Maryville, TN

Earl fought a valiant battle and maintained a positive attitude through all his treatments, since he was diagnosed in April 2007.

In the words of my Internet friend, Wanda Smith..."May God's gentle presence fill the coming days with love and may He warm our hearts with abundant grace and peace always."

Our entire family appreciates your love, support and prayers. Thank you!

In His Love,
Lillian & Liana Lancaster

Click on top photo to see next photo

Earl 12/3/08

We brought Earl home late Tuesday night. I signed the Hospice papers this morning. Doctors say we are looking at a few weeks... possibly one month, maybe two. Won't be long.... for which I can only be thankful, for Earl's sake. If this is how it has to be, let it be quickly over for him.

He has had a little issue of some congestion and not being able to cough much up. EMT Richard (friend of Liana's who transported Earl for Rural Metro last night) says the lung congestion is likely fluid buildup that is just part of the body shutdown process. Earl has swelling in his hands and legs. His body can't process and get rid of the fluids.

At times his mind is still so sharp and clear. Pain meds make him sluggish and his speech is slurred. The mornings are better after he has slept and is not on meds.

Stacie & Liana were with me last night. They split the late night shift and let me sleep... first real sleep in almost a week.

Earl - News is not good

CT Scan on Saturday shows cancer has spread. This morning Oncologist told me there is nothing else he can do for Earl. The recent treatments apparently have not been working. He recommended we put him in hospice care. He also said Earl doesn't have long. Probably a matter of weeks. Maybe a month or two, but not long.

Earl is so weak. His mind is wondering and he talks about all kinds of things. Whatever is running thru his mind. He can be alert and responsive when we ask him questions. Next sentence won't make sense. His liver is not working, thus toxins are building up and causing the confusion. Blood sugar was 282 and insulin is keeping it under 200. Other issues, too much to detail now.

He had a good visit with his daughter, Claudette, and her husband who came down from Richmond for the weekend. He was able to talk some and knew she was there. Asked about her last night, wanting to know if they had gone home. I was able to tell him she would be back this morning and she did come to see him before they left.

I am trying to be grateful that Earl has been so well until this last week. It will be such a blessing for him if this can be over quickly and him not have to suffer for a long time.

Please pray for us as we face these final days. It's in God's hands.

Lillian

Earl is back home!

Earl was released yesterday. His potassium must be very low. Lower than what pills would take care of. Doctor wasn't sure Earl would absorb enough from pills (everything runs right thru him), so wanted to give him another IV of potassium yesterday. It stings if given too fast, so they had to slow it down so much, it took about 7 hours to do the small bag. He was signed out and ready to hit the door when they unhooked him!

I went down to move the car around shortly after they called transport to come get him. Earl was dressed and sitting on the bed, ready to go when our pastor, Dr. Glenn Cummings, came in to see him. If he had gotten there five minutes later, he would have missed Earl. We certainly appreciated him coming to see Earl. Even if it was just to escort Earl down to the car.

As we headed home, we hit the 5:00 p.m. traffic jam on I-40/75. Lucky for us, we only had to go one exit to get off on Pellissippi, so we got home about 5:15 p.m.

Earl is feeling much better. Just very weak. Still dealing with the diarrhea.

He is very glad to be back home!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lillian & Earl

Earl may get to come home today.

I see the number of hits has jumped up over 40 hits in last 24 hours. I appreciate everyone who stops by to check on Earl. I know all of you are praying for him. Thank you so much!

Doctor said last evening he might release Earl today. Hope so!

Lillian

Earl in hospital

Around 11:00 p.m. last night I began to try to get Earl up out of his recliner and get him headed to bed. When he stood up and tried to walk, he was so unsteady on his feed he could not walk. When I asked him if he needed the wheelchair, he said yes. Right then I knew we had problems.

I decided I wasn't waiting until morning to get him some help. So, Liana and I gathered up a few things for him and wheeled him out to the car and headed to Park West a few minutes before midnight.

He was taken into an exam room at 12:25 a.m. Gregg drew several vials of blood for lab, but was unable to get the site to work for an IV. He tried twice more with no luck. He went and got Mark, who tried twice, still with no luck. Then they called in David, with 30+ years of experience. Finally, on his second stick he was able to get Earl ready for an IV. This was a total of seven times he was stuck! Earl's veins are in such bad shape from all the chemo! These guys tried really hard... just didn't have much to work with.

They did go ahead and start Earl on fluids, while they were waiting for lab results. The results showed the kidney and bladder infections are back again. He is also dehydrated, but not as severely as we suspected.

This makes, I think, six times he has been treated for the urinary tract infections since March or April. What makes it really hard to know what is going on is that he has no burning or stinging. Then we assume what back pain he is having is related to the cancer, since pain is expected with that. Or is it kidney pain from the infection? We are going to have to figure out some way to know when it is this infection and not cancer pain. But how?? We'll work on that for sure.

After conferring with the Oncology doctor on call, Earl was admitted and got into his room about 3:30 a.m. It took an hour or so to get him settled and hooked up, etc. Liana and I were both wired, but too tired to settle down. It was around 5 a.m. when she went home. I read until little before 7 a.m. when I finally began to drift off. A sleeping chair was brought in and I slept about 45 min. before they brought in his breakfast tray. Looked pretty good. Scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuit, juice, coffee and mandarin oranges.

Earl has been getting fluids all day, as well as antibiotics and potassium. Also getting another antibiotic pill three times a day... every eight hours. The IV antibiotic is levaquin. This is the stuff that his mother took that made her talk out of her head for three days recently. May get interesting if it does weird things to Earl, too!!

For now, we wait. Haven't seen a doctor today. Nurse says it is sometimes very late when doctors make rounds. Earl is hoping he will get to go home tomorrow, but we don't know anything now.

Please pray, pray, pray!
Our love and thanks to you all.
Lillian

Earl update

I called from work to check on Earl right before 2 p.m. and talked to his assistant. I found out he had not even attempted to work any today. That isn't like him, so I left immediately and came home to check on him. When I got here he was having a hard time talking. His mouth was so dry, he couldn't talk plain because his tongue was sticking to his mouth. Said he thought he needed to go to the hospital because he was dehydrated.

I called the oncologist who instructed that he drink plenty of fluids and come in for blood work at 9 a.m. tomorrow. They will draw blood and immediately go ahead and hook up an IV and start fluids. It was too late to take him in to get fluids at their office today.

Depending on results, they will make recommendation as to either admit him to hospital or give him fluids in the office. I hope they can get him hydrated without hospitalization.

Lillian

Rough weekend for Earl - Prayers needed

This has been a strange weekend for Earl. When I came in from work Friday afternoon, he was sitting in his recliner. Seemed fine. Sleeping is not unusual for him at this time of day, so I let him sleep about 1-1/2 to 2 hours. I knew he should have something to eat, but when I tried to wake him, I about gave up. He kept going right back to sleep regardless of me talking to him, etc.

After 15-20 min. I did get him to get up, but he was very unsteady on his feet, so I stayed right with him while he walked to the back of the house. When I asked him if he wanted me to get his walker, he said it would probably be a good idea. Up into the attic to get his walker down. He used it the rest of the evening. He parked it on Saturday and went back to his cane.

He ate some beef stew and not long after that he started complaining about his stomach hurting. This continued until after he went to bed very late. The pain moved down into his lower abdomen later in the evening. He even took a couple of pain pills for the stomach pain.

Saturday morning, he was still hurting and took more pain pills. He gradually seemed to feel better as Saturday passed. Sunday, he slept late and didn't get up until late morning. When he tried to eat some scrambled eggs and toast around noon, he took a couple of bites and immediately headed for the bathroom.

He threw up the worst looking gunk! It was dark gray stuff that looked like brackish swamp water. No telling how long this stuff had been sitting in his stomach. Probably the cause of his pain on Saturday. He felt much better afterward, but did not eat much. Headed back to bed.

He has continued to sleep a lot today. At one point, he stopped at my office door across the hall from our bedroom. He kept leaning up against the door frame and closing his eyes like he was trying to go to sleep standing there!! He went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon.

He woke late afternoon and read the newspaper some. Wanted to go the church for the Thanksgiving dinner this evening, but was just too weak. Finally decided he would have some chicken noodle soup. He does seem to be feeling better. He's up and just went down the hall toward the living room. Hope he isn't up all night, because he slept so much today. Didn't stay long, he's back on the bed under his electric throw.

Earl came in on Wednesday with the report that his CA19-9 from a couple of weeks ago was up to 90+. Doctor thinks this will come down some since this series of treatments. Earl will return to Doctor on Dec. 1st. I don't know if they will start another series of treatment or just do blood work.

The 5FU pills made his fingers split and become very sore the first 14 days he took them. He began using lotions and whatever he could think of to try to promote healing. He finally realized that the Melaleuca MelaGel seemed to help the most. He has applied that every day of this 14 days of pills and his fingers have not split like they did the first series. He takes the pills 14 days, then is off seven days.

His hands and some of his fingers are swollen along with his feet and lower legs. The fluid buildup is related to the chemo. He continues to run low grade fevers about once a week or at least every 10 days or so. The fevers last about 24 hours and usually go away when treated with Tylenol. A couple of times they have been over 103 degrees.

He continues to have back pain most nights and is taking strong pain meds to relieve it so he can sleep.

He has gained a few pounds, but I'm not sure if it is true gain or fluid buildup. He is still only 154 lbs. and so very thin. He has learned to give himself the shots to help control the diarrhea. He is supposed to take them every 4-6 hours, but I don't think he remembers to take them more than a couple of times each day.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating this much lately. It's just the same old things all the time. Not much progress to really report. It seems to be a step or two forward and about 10 steps back. I'm trying to keep my life on track and must work to keep insurance going. It's very hard some days to get up at 6:30 and get ready for work when I didn't get to sleep until after 3 a.m. vigil with Earl. Liana has been a tremendous help. She takes Earl for his treatments, which allows me to go to work. She also helps with his Mother. I don't know how I would be managing without her help.

With his numbers creeping upward, prayer is about all we can ask of you. Please continue to pray for us. We need your prayers so very much. It is very hard to see him going down so rapidly and have courage that things will be better. He continues to remain positive that he will beat it again!

His daughter and her husband will be coming down from Richmond, VA on Friday. I know it will perk him up to see her.

Thank you for all your prayers.
Lillian

Earl fever & treatment

Earl had a very rough night. Fever 102.7 about 2 a.m. this morning. Pain in back was worst he has had to date. Fever gone by morning. No idea what is going on.

He got chemo today and started back on the 5FU pills tonight. They make his hands sore... split fingers, etc.

His left arm started swelling during chemo today & they had to switch to the right arm. Now both arms are hurting from the chemo. Last treatment made his arm hurt for about 24 hrs.

Dr. can't help him if he doesn't get treatment. So, he endures it. At least his white count is holding fairly well. It was low enough one time that they skipped a week.

I was up with Earl until 2:30 or 3 a.m. so we didn't get much rest. Hope we don't repeat again tonight!

Ryan in hospital twice

From Ryan's Mom:

11/9/08: Ryan got out of the hospital this afternoon.

11/7/08: SOME GOOD NEWS: RYAN IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL, IMPROVING SLOWLY. HIS DOCTORS HAVE REVIEWED THE SCAN RESULTS, AND HAVE FOUND THAT THE CANCER HAS BEEN SHRUNK A BIT. RYAN WILL BE GIVEN ABOUT TWO WEEKS OFF, THEN THEY WILL TRY ONE MORE TIME ON THE CHEMO.

11/6/08: Ryan's cancer is small cell lung cancer-------can also be known as 'oatmeal' cancer---------treatable, but not curable.

11/5/08: Ryan still in hospital. Well, the news was not at all what we wanted to hear. This last bit of chemo has not done what they were hoping for. The infection at his port site has to get cleared. They removed the port this afternoon. They will possibly put a new one in when his infection is cleared up.

His oncologist is contacting others across the country to see if there are any experimental (clinical?) drugs that can be tried on Ryan. Will relay more as we find out.

Just before we found out about Ryan, we had a call from Annie (Ryan's sister). They had a fire last night in the new house. What a mess. Everyone, dogs included made it out ok with no injuries. Most lucky on that account. We took our 27 1/2 foot travel trailer up there this am so that they will have somewhere to sleep. Could get a motel, but didn't want to leave all their stuff unattended.

11/3/08 10:38 p.m: The latest is that they are now thinking of taking the port completely out, and his white blood count was at .3 should be 3,000. Will have the results of his scan sometime tomorrow. We really do need some good news for a change.

11/3/08: Ryan is back in the hospital again. Site infection where the port is------may have to have a new one put in.

Also, white blood count down again. He has now lost about 97 lbs. A few days in the hospital should help get him back on his feet.

They are going to do the scan earlier than scheduled, so that they can see if the cancer has been stopped--------that's the news I really don't want to hear at this point.

10/30/08: Ryan was in the hospital overnight---blood levels had dropped once more. They built him back up, sent him home, and now we wait and see. Yesterday and today have been a bit owly with him. Nauseated, vomiting, etc. That should go away here in a couple of days. Seems to go with the territory.