When will it stop hurting?

I keep telling myself it will get better. It will stop hurting. But when?

I do pretty well most of the time. Work is my escape. A busy mind helps. His photo on my desk, a daily smile from him.

So many lonely moments. Many sleepless hours in the dark of night.

So many daily events I must remember to tell him about. Surely he knows already! So many things I need to ask him. He was a fountain of knowledge!

Where did you put... I can't find... what should I do... how will I ever...

When will the tears stop spilling over and trickling down... at such unexpected moments! About some of the silliest things! Never know when!

It will get better... BUT WHEN, I cry?

I need to cry... but, it will hurt so much! Not yet! Not now! Soon!

Will tears help wash away the pain and hurt, the lonely moments, days, weeks, months.... years?

He has been gone five months today. Maybe it is time... to CRY!

5/5/09

He is missed by so many....

Last Farewell